Fearless in Trauma

 Hi, I am a little American-Korean Boy—a shy American-Korean little boy for real. Today, my mom usually tells me to go to school, a Korean middle school.

“Ma’am, I hate school. I have already told you that I prefer homeschooling rather than this ordinary school,” 

“Look, Vernon. Mommy always tells you to be brave, do not fear others’ opinions. You are special, yes, you are. Come on, my boy, wake up and get up to school,” said her and immediately left my room. 

Yes, momma, I wish I can reply to her with this phrase. Jeez, I am a coward, ten-years boy. How can I even not to tell her this short phrase?  

I do not want to be more cowardly, so I decided to do this boring routine again. I hope today is not going to be my new worst day again. I’m afraid if they will bullying me over yesterday. This is my second middle school this year, and I am so scared that I do not want that if I need to move again. 

I do nothing in the previous school, but I was the only one who blames me while the real suspects bullied me. Five vs. 1, they slandered me, and then  I was dropped out in the 8th grade. 

Yeah, that is a short introduction to my reason why I was trauma with the ordinary school. The one thing that loyal to me is my earphones, and they have accompanied me in the street for the last two years since I was in middle school. A road is a perfect place when  I am stuck in my fantasy and dreaming it to be real life. I will turn up the volume until the class is starting. 

“Hey, look at him. He is not Korean,” said a little fat boy who sits two rows next to me. He is a gang leader in this class, and even the class leader is afraid of him, Jinyoung is his name. I heard it, but I choose not to react to his stupid words. I turn the volume up again. I hold my grunge for a long time. I am so scared if I  will going to be dropped out again for the second time. That is why I choose to stay in peace rather than replies this first bully today. 

“Vernon-ah, do you have a Korean name? Why are you choose to stay in this country rather than your real country? Are you not cool enough to stay in America, or is it because your family bankrupt?” another bullier mocks me precisely at the front of my face. Jihoon is the right-hand of Jinyoung. I know he says that with a little bit of tremor. He does not have enough bravery to say it, and he just does it to gain Jinyoung’s attention. Jeez, I’m so pity to him. At this level, I still have patience, so I choose to ignore this trash word again. 

“Wow, Vernon, you are so calm. I can see your face hold anger toward my gang. Why not we meet after class over this afternoon at the rooftop?” asked Jinyoung. 

I am waiting for this offer to happen. Without full of doubts and excitement, I choose to react to his invitation. 

“Okay,” reply me shortly. 

Immediately, almost all the rest of the students in the class react to my reply. “WOOW, Vernon finally wants to open his mouth,” they say together. 

“Jeez, trash people highly expect my reply, and they think that I am a robot? I only say OK, but they react to it over,” said me to myself. 

KRING KRING 

The school bell is ringing, and this is a sign that the first class is ready to start. Then it follows with the second class and the third class and then followed by the lunch break. The lunch break time gives me a shocking moment. There is a -friend- who willing to sit beside me. I still do not believe this. Why he sits next to me, and he smiles at me. 

“Hi, I am Seungkwan,” says him. 

“Hi, Seungkwan. I am Vernon. Are we in the same class?” 

“Yes, we are. I know you since the one you moved here, and I am interested in being your friend. Can we be friends?” Seungkwan asks me. 

WHAT. Does someone want to be my friend? Is he sick of what? Doubts me. 

At this rate, if I reject his offer, I will be alone, and I do not know what to do. That is my goal in this new school. I do not want to be alone. No, I do not wish to be forgotten. 

“Yes!” I reply to him excitedly. 

“Thanks, Vernon. I do not know if you will be happy to have a friend like me. By the way, may I know your Korean name?” 

“Eh, why, this is my first time have a friend in this school. I am so glad to know that someone wants to be my friend. You know I am a loser, right. Hansol is my Korean name,” explain me to him. 

“No, you are not a loser, Hansol-ah. To be honest, before you move here, I was the victim of Jinyoung’s gang too. I think that if we are united, then we can make a stronger rival gang to them. What do you think of my plan?” 

I am a little bit shock at first when he tells me that he also a bullying victim. This fact makes me so excited. 

“Cool, Seungkwan, I like your plan. Let’s start our plan from this afternoon meeting,” I offer him this chance to help me bet those bad little boys. 

After taking lunch break then Seungkwan and I going back to the class. We still have one class before the class over. Time flies so fast, and it is already 03.00 p.m. 

“Vernon-ah, let’s meet up at the rooftop now,” Jinyoung said. 

On the rooftop, there are a lot of students watching us. I bet they expect if we want to fight. Let me laugh out loud. Seungkwan and I already have a peaceful way to go over this childish offer. 

All of the students around me hold their mobile phones, and I know this will be happening, and it is under my expectation. After five minutes of staring at each other, there is still no wor from Jinyoung or Jihoon. I would never be saying anything before them. 

“Are you afraid? Loser,” Jihoon mocks me. I still do not care about his words. 

“Vernon-ah, let’s fight. I will beat you down until you cannot wake up,” Jinyoung says. 

YASSH, finally he says it. 

Immediately I look at Seungkwan’s position. He right behind me, and then we both together say while playing the record when Jinyoung says the offer. 

“Jinyoung-ah, if you want to live in prison, we can make this record as proof. We have police number now, and we can report you to the teachers then you and Jihoon be dropped out from this school,” 

After Seungkwan and I said that, I could see that both of them are slowly getting afraid. However, they still dare to us and say, “We are not afraid.” 

“Really?” reply me and followed by Seungkwan playing a car police siren. This fake siren makes all of the students on the rooftops run away included the two loser-gang Jinyoung and Jihoon. 

Ahaha, both of us, me and Seungkwan, laugh so hard. We could not believe that our plan is going well. Since this day, we promise not to be trauma and fear again.